The Ambivert: Living on Both Sides of the Spectrum

If you often struggle with the back and forth battle between whether you should go out on a Friday night or stay at home and watch a movie…you are likely an ambivert.

An ambivert is someone whose personality has a balance of extrovert and introvert features. You can’t qualify yourself on either side of the spectrum, but can relate to both at any given moment.  There may be days where you crave alone time and self-reflection, and other times where you thrive at being the life of the party. As psychologist Paulette Kouffman Sherman puts it, ambiverts are “emotionally flexible” and have the ability to operate on both sides. 

If I had to guess, the majority of people would likely classify me as an extrovert based on my energetic and charismatic personality.  In social settings, I can easily “work a room” and meet new people.  Whether that’s at a party, a networking event, or a one-on-one meeting, I enjoy building relationships.  

However, the extrovert lifestyle is mentally exhausting.  I often have to psyche myself up before an event or meeting to make sure I can still perform at a high level.  By the time the weekend arrives, I am socially wiped and crave alone time.  Luckily, meditation and self-reflection can give me a similar dopamine rush to working a room at a social event.  

One of the biggest battles with being an ambivert is the inability to make decisions.  The daily inner monologue that goes on in my head is debilitating.

            “Should I go to this networking happy hour?”

            “Or should I stay in and watch The Office?

            “I could be missing out on some potential business if I don’t go…”

            “But I’ve got a big day tomorrow, so I should stay in and rest”

You get the idea.  

With all that’s going on in the world, I’ve been compelled to be introverted more than ever.  For the first time in a while, I do not have any trips planned, networking events to attend, or any social activities on the weekend.  Ergo, no major “FOMO” or inner monologues to deal with in my mind.

All of this free time has allowed me to put more attention on things that I’ve been neglecting over the years, such as writing.  I no longer have the excuses “now’s not the right time” or “I am too busy with other matters” to prevent me from doing what I love.  I’ve also had more time to journal and read, activities that often get overlooked due to social obligations.   

At the end of the day, all of this has allowed me to develop a better relationship with my extroverted and introverted self.  No matter what side of the spectrum you are on, self-reflection is everything.  

2 Comments

  1. Love this post! I hadn’t heard of the term “ambivert” before. I’ve been telling people for years that I’m an extroverted introvert…I like ambivert better. I so relate to this post, and glad you have more time to write great stuff like this!

    Liked by 1 person

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